[Sca-List] FW: [outlands] Letter of the Atenveldt Emissaries

[Kathryn Michel]

Well....
 
This sounds suspiciously like, "Tennis Balls, My liege."  
 
If we can't find smelly cheese, I vote that we find a million plastic forks and stick them into the ground to make a great mucking huge harp in the middle of their front gate at Estrella.  Granted, it's not period, but it is funny and will help aerate the ground.
 
Brianna 


Date: Mon, 17 Dec 2007 12:01:45 -0700From: randall.jackson at lmco.comTo: sca-list at caergalen.orgSubject: [Sca-List] FW: [outlands] Letter of the Atenveldt Emissaries






Good people of Caer Galen (and Andros):
 
What follows is a missive sent to Their Majesties form the King and Queen of Atenveldt.
 
Their Majesties have requested that Caer Galen provide a Gift to be given to the Crown of Atenveldt at Grand Court at Estrella.  This is normally a bit extravagant, to display the glory of the Outlands.  Her Excellency and I would ask that the artisans of Caer Galen consider making something appropriate to include in the gift.  The missive below might give you some ideas…
 

Carrick
(I’m thinking some smelly cheese is in order…)
 
 
"If you can't do something smart, do something right." - Jayne Cobb 


From: outlands at yahoogroups.com [mailto:outlands at yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of scribe_ariSent: Monday, December 17, 2007 11:48 AMTo: outlands at yahoogroups.comSubject: [outlands] Letter of the Atenveldt Emissaries
 



What follows is the letter from the Crown of Atenveldt to the Outlandsthat was read at Al-Barran Midwinter.----------Unto Their Royal Majesties Alrik Boleslavson and Slaine inghean UiSheanain do we, Eduard Gostomski, All-Father and King of Atenveldt andAsa Hrafnsdottir, Daughter of Ravens and Queen of the Sunlit Landssend greetings on this, the beginning of thy Fimbulwinter,Long have we looked upon thy realm with a feeling of pride, as anyparent must. Thy exploits begin to garner some renown and even theone-eyed may see that there may be great deeds in the days ahead for you.Yet that same eye also sees the movement of soldiers towards our borders.Ever is it thus. The wayward child begins to feel he understands thebreadth and depth of the world-tree and seeks glorious death withouttruly understanding what it means to live.Valhalla is a realm of warriors.We suspect you shall not listen to wisdom however. The young never do.I confess We were surprised at your choice for General, as he soundssuspiciously French, and We are somewhat disappointed that your armyis likely to take the field only to surrender. I mean really, havethey ever had a successful military leader that they haven't burned?(Napoleon, alas, was Corsican)... Please note that for tribute, finewine is acceptable, smelly cheese is not, and no, we shall not have abreak for croissant and coffee.Oh very well, perhaps coffee...Bearing in mind that you are likely to come to our lands only to findYour Ragnarok, we have made every effort to be efficient hosts. Thuswe are pleased to send suitable were-gild ahead of time. This shouldbe enough to pay off 5 drunkards to relieve themselves on the bodiesof the worthy of your army and set them alight... what is that, adozen or so?Less? Hmm... Perhaps We have overpaid…Also note that we have included two items for His Majesty in particular:The Fimbulwinter is cold, and though the Lands of the Sun are warm toher friends, they can be harsh and unyielding to the young. It istradition here that children presenting themselves before the Crown begiven a gift of booties. Thus do we present such to you, Your Majesty.We would not wish for you to develop "cold feet" on the eve of yourdemise.We have also included something which You should be intimatelyfamiliar with, Your Majesty: A toy. The creature it represents iscalled a horse. You are likely familiar with it as "horsie." Warriorsride upon it to battle. It is our hope that this gift shall allow yousuitable time to become familiar with the concept of being around"scary big horsie things" before you take that final ride upon Odin'seight legged steed Sleipnir.Or at the very least, the approximation of it from four pall-bearerswho shall move thy corpse to its funerary barge.This of course assumes that enough of your populace is left after yourdefeat to fill the requisite number. If not, I suspect We will have tomake arrangements to take care of this for you.It is, after all, what the Odin-King should do.We shall, of course, toast and boast upon your behalf in our meadhalls. As we must assume that you are not yet of age to appreciatethis, We feel obliged to inform you that mead is a fermented honeydrink of surprising sweetness and potency not unlike the first kiss ofa fair maiden.Oh, but our apologies…We had momentarily forgotten that such is apleasure you have yet to discover. Sadly, we think it unlikely thatyou shall live long enough to experience this.Perhaps you may yet make do with milk.So Good Children of Atenveldt's loins, we issue this challenge to you:Bring Us your soldiers.Bring Us your champions.Bring Us your heroes.Let us face each other upon the fields of Estrella and test each otherin the face of battle. Let us commit to the dance of death with ravensand Valkyrie in attendance. Show us the worth of the Outlands whensteel is pledged against steel.Let skald and soldier raise voice in the honor of the brave and thedead, and lay low the coward that slinks from the battlefield.Thus shall we discover whether Estrella be a war of Warriors and Heroes…… or merely the noisome puling of babes and children.For all our boasts, and all our roasts, we raise a glass in Yourhonor, that we may meet and struggle before the gates of Valhalla.Eduard One Eye, Odin-King of AtenveldtAsa, Queen of the Sun, and Daughter of Ravens-----------In service to Crown and KingdomMistress Ari UsniAbacus Herald, Kingdom of Atenveldt
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