[Sca-List] FW: [outlands] Letter of the Atenveldt Emissaries

Mon Dec 17 19:06:05 UTC 2007

The Cook's Guild is holding a cheese making class in January.  Not sure how
well it will store or travel - it might be truly "smelly" and not at all
appropriate.

Shoshanna

On Dec 17, 2007 12:01 PM, Jackson, Randall (N-Superior Technical Resources
Inc.) <randall.jackson at lmco.com> wrote:

>  Good people of Caer Galen (and Andros):
>
>
>
> What follows is a missive sent to Their Majesties form the King and Queen
> of Atenveldt.
>
>
>
> Their Majesties have requested that Caer Galen provide a Gift to be given
> to the Crown of Atenveldt at Grand Court at Estrella.  This is normally a
> bit extravagant, to display the glory of the Outlands.  Her Excellency and I
> would ask that the artisans of Caer Galen consider making something
> appropriate to include in the gift.  The missive below might give you some
> ideas…
>
>
>
> *Carrick*
>
> (I'm thinking some smelly cheese is in order…)
>
>
>
>
>
> "If you can't do something smart, do something right." - Jayne Cobb
>
> *From:* outlands at yahoogroups.com [mailto:outlands at yahoogroups.com] *On
> Behalf Of *scribe_ari
> *Sent:* Monday, December 17, 2007 11:48 AM
> *To:* outlands at yahoogroups.com
> *Subject:* [outlands] Letter of the Atenveldt Emissaries
>
>
>
> What follows is the letter from the Crown of Atenveldt to the Outlands
> that was read at Al-Barran Midwinter.
>
> ----------
>
> Unto Their Royal Majesties Alrik Boleslavson and Slaine inghean Ui
> Sheanain do we, Eduard Gostomski, All-Father and King of Atenveldt and
> Asa Hrafnsdottir, Daughter of Ravens and Queen of the Sunlit Lands
> send greetings on this, the beginning of thy Fimbulwinter,
>
> Long have we looked upon thy realm with a feeling of pride, as any
> parent must. Thy exploits begin to garner some renown and even the
> one-eyed may see that there may be great deeds in the days ahead for you.
>
> Yet that same eye also sees the movement of soldiers towards our borders.
>
> Ever is it thus. The wayward child begins to feel he understands the
> breadth and depth of the world-tree and seeks glorious death without
> truly understanding what it means to live.
>
> Valhalla is a realm of warriors.
>
> We suspect you shall not listen to wisdom however. The young never do.
>
> I confess We were surprised at your choice for General, as he sounds
> suspiciously French, and We are somewhat disappointed that your army
> is likely to take the field only to surrender. I mean really, have
> they ever had a successful military leader that they haven't burned?
> (Napoleon, alas, was Corsican)... Please note that for tribute, fine
> wine is acceptable, smelly cheese is not, and no, we shall not have a
> break for croissant and coffee.
>
> Oh very well, perhaps coffee...
>
> Bearing in mind that you are likely to come to our lands only to find
> Your Ragnarok, we have made every effort to be efficient hosts. Thus
> we are pleased to send suitable were-gild ahead of time. This should
> be enough to pay off 5 drunkards to relieve themselves on the bodies
> of the worthy of your army and set them alight... what is that, a
> dozen or so?
>
> Less? Hmm... Perhaps We have overpaid…
>
> Also note that we have included two items for His Majesty in particular:
>
> The Fimbulwinter is cold, and though the Lands of the Sun are warm to
> her friends, they can be harsh and unyielding to the young. It is
> tradition here that children presenting themselves before the Crown be
> given a gift of booties. Thus do we present such to you, Your Majesty.
> We would not wish for you to develop "cold feet" on the eve of your
> demise.
>
> We have also included something which You should be intimately
> familiar with, Your Majesty: A toy. The creature it represents is
> called a horse. You are likely familiar with it as "horsie." Warriors
> ride upon it to battle. It is our hope that this gift shall allow you
> suitable time to become familiar with the concept of being around
> "scary big horsie things" before you take that final ride upon Odin's
> eight legged steed Sleipnir.
>
> Or at the very least, the approximation of it from four pall-bearers
> who shall move thy corpse to its funerary barge.
>
> This of course assumes that enough of your populace is left after your
> defeat to fill the requisite number. If not, I suspect We will have to
> make arrangements to take care of this for you.
>
> It is, after all, what the Odin-King should do.
>
> We shall, of course, toast and boast upon your behalf in our mead
> halls. As we must assume that you are not yet of age to appreciate
> this, We feel obliged to inform you that mead is a fermented honey
> drink of surprising sweetness and potency not unlike the first kiss of
> a fair maiden.
>
> Oh, but our apologies…We had momentarily forgotten that such is a
> pleasure you have yet to discover. Sadly, we think it unlikely that
> you shall live long enough to experience this.
>
> Perhaps you may yet make do with milk.
>
> So Good Children of Atenveldt's loins, we issue this challenge to you:
>
> Bring Us your soldiers.
> Bring Us your champions.
> Bring Us your heroes.
>
> Let us face each other upon the fields of Estrella and test each other
> in the face of battle. Let us commit to the dance of death with ravens
> and Valkyrie in attendance. Show us the worth of the Outlands when
> steel is pledged against steel.
>
> Let skald and soldier raise voice in the honor of the brave and the
> dead, and lay low the coward that slinks from the battlefield.
>
> Thus shall we discover whether Estrella be a war of Warriors and Heroes…
> … or merely the noisome puling of babes and children.
>
> For all our boasts, and all our roasts, we raise a glass in Your
> honor, that we may meet and struggle before the gates of Valhalla.
>
> Eduard One Eye, Odin-King of Atenveldt
> Asa, Queen of the Sun, and Daughter of Ravens
> -----------
>
> In service to Crown and Kingdom
> Mistress Ari Usni
> Abacus Herald, Kingdom of Atenveldt
>
> __._,_.___
>
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